Thursday, 16 October 2008

The Science of Hubbly

When Isaac Newton postulated that motion was governed by three laws, the world stood back in awe; marvelling at his discovery. Newton, however, was sadly mistaken. The laws of inertia, resultant force and reciprocal action were all correct, but he had forgotten the most important law of all - the law governing the smoking of, and actions towards the hookah pipe. Hubbly Science, a term coined on 16 October 2008, would become known as the most difinitive and detailed explination of the hookah pipe because it not only took into account the physical aspects of this marvelous contraption, but it's social, psychological and emotional aspects as well. According to Hubbly Science there are five laws governing the smoking of and actions towards the hubbly:

First Law: 'you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink' - this cliche means nothing in Hubbly Science. Everyone - man, woman, child - who spends a significant amount of time around the hubbly will, eventually, partake of its sweet, sweet nectar.

Second Law: One's insanity. Two's company. Three's a crowd. No one person can smoke a regular hubbly alone. He will eventually falter, waste the rest and feel guilty. Two people are better, but this is a push. Three or more is best.

Third Law: At least one person in the group of hubbly-smokers will, at some point during a session, say something stupid.

Fourth Law: Eventually, no matter how hard you try to prevent it, a coal will fall onto the carpet or safety rug.

Fifth Law: He who makes the hubbly has first smoke or, at least, has the first pick. In the same breath, he who shotguns last makes the hubbly.

Of course, the avid hubbly-smoking group will develop their own quirks and nuances relating to the hubbly; but their actions will remain within the basic structure of these laws whether they like it or not.

The hubbly is an integral part of the Friday of Madness experience and, thus, will be devoted a lot of attention here.